Spiritus Sanctus

Wednesday of Holy Week
Isaiah 50:4-9 | Psalm 68(69):8-10,21-22,31,33-34 | Matthew 26:14-25

I offered my back to those who struck me,
my cheeks to those who tore at my beard;
I did not cover my face
against insult and spittle. (Isaiah 50:6)

Something bizarre happened to me yesterday, while I was on the way to my neighborhood train station.

I was traversing a narrow walkway, and spied two adults coming towards me, walking side by side. I decided to keep to the right, practically hugging the wall next to me.

The two individuals kept walking towards me, still walking abreast with no room on either side. They’re looking right at me, I thought. Surely the one in front of me will soon move to one side and let me through.

Instead, we both stopped barely arm’s-length apart, and she glared at me, seemingly insulted that this miserable excuse of a living being (a.k.a. me) wouldn’t smear myself into a thin layer against the wall, or vanish into thin air, so as to let her continue unimpeded.

Her companion, being more civil, pulled her to one side, and we all continued on our way.

Seconds later, it happened again. This time, it was (I assume) a mother and her towering son, and yes, the larger-than-me child seemed ready to beat me to a pulp for not giving way, even when there was literally no space for me to slide on by. The mother glared at me too, pointedly ignoring the physical impossibility of the situation, furious at this stranger who dared to disrespect her son by not doing the impossible for him.

✞ ✞ ✞ ✞ ✞

Yesterday, I experienced anew what it feels like to be a worm, unloved and irrelevant, a mere nuisance to be stepped on and ignored thereafter.

To my chagrin, I also experienced a surge of anger, my fists briefly clenching, seconds from throwing a gut-punch, followed closely by an uppercut to the chin. The crick in my neck from a rough night’s sleep didn’t help my disposition either.

Did I mention that I was quietly praying my daily rosary while all the above occurred? I must have recited at least fifteen Hail Marys during that twice-interrupted decade, when my thumb kept slipping on my rosary ring in my mental turmoil.

Now that I think about it, “chagrin” barely scratches the surface of what I’m still feeling as I write this. It brings me no joy to experience at least some of Isaiah’s predicament, nor to fight off the daily impulse to retaliate against those…

who expect me to kowtow to their unstated wishes,

who speak uncivil words to me, then blithely excuse themselves with “that’s the kind of person I am, can’t be helped, and why do you take things so seriously?”

who casually toss BIG problems “over the fence” to me, in the expectation that “Adrian’ll fix it” because they don’t want to deal with it.

But perhaps this was a wakeup call for me, reminding me to not bury myself in, well, me.

And then I remember Jesus’ instructions to his disciples regarding their passover preparations, particularly how Matthew begins his record with:

Go to so-and-so in the city (Matthew 26:18)

I think that’s a message to us all, when even the owner of the house in which the Last Supper took place is left unidentified.

All that matters in the end,
is that what needed doing
was performed to completion.

Just like Jesus in His Passion.

Lord Jesus Christ, You bore our sufferings and carried our sorrows through Your glorious Passion. Help us meet our own passion with the determination to do the needful, and the spiritual grace to bring Your boundless mercy to all.

May Your love be upon us, O Lord, as we place all our hope in you during this Holy Week, and till the end of our days. Amen.

Tuesday of Holy Week
Isaiah 49:1-6 | Psalm 70(71):1-6,15,17 | John 13:21-33,36-38

‘It is the one’ replied Jesus ‘to whom I give the piece of bread that I shall dip in the dish.’ He dipped the piece of bread and gave it to Judas son of Simon Iscariot. At that instant, after Judas had taken the bread, Satan entered him. Jesus then said, ‘What you are going to do, do quickly.’ (John 13:26-27)

When we sin, we are often forewarned.

Rare is the occasion when we decide, on the spur of the moment, to cheat someone, or deny elderly people a few moments of rest for their tired feet on the train. It’s more often a learned process over the years, of not caring about the welfare of others, of not placing any worth on others.

We can see it coming…and choose to continue down that path anyway.

Judas was forewarned about his fate. He knew that Jesus knew, yet he did the deed anyway. John’s Gospel paints a disturbing picture about how others could see the change come upon him, the point at which he committed himself to betraying the Christ.

Jesus commanded him to “do [it] quickly,” so as not to delay His Passion. For us, however, hesitation gives us an opportunity to rethink a sinful course of action, a chance to pull back from the brink, to step away from temptation.

For us, slow is steady, and it helps us win the race to salvation.

Lord, as we go through life beset by temptation on every side, remind us often to stop and think about what You went through for us, and what staying on Your Holy Way means for our future reunion with the Father, of whom we are and for whom we long. Amen.

Monday of Holy Week
Isaiah 42:1-7 | Psalm 26(27):1-3,13-14 | John 12:1-11

Mary brought in a pound of very costly ointment, pure nard, and with it anointed the feet of Jesus, wiping them with her hair; the house was full of the scent of the ointment. (John 12:3)

Can you smell holiness?

I think you can.

I think it smells like the palm I picked up at church, a faint hint of greenery that sparks images of a “Hosanna!” donkey day long gone.

I think it smells like baby powder, which hit my nose when I lifted a little child up to the drinking fountain before mass, and who rewarded me in turn with a shy smile.

I think it smells like a sweaty South Asian construction worker, who valiantly helped a maid navigate her wheelchair-bound employer over bumps and potholes, while traffic rushed by within arm’s reach of the trio.

And, of course, I think it smells like Jesus Christ, anointed by Mary as a reminder to all present that He would be dead soon, as He foretold.

I think you can smell holiness.

It’s recognizing it for what it is that’s the trick.

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I just smelled my right armpit.

I don’t know why, and I’m wishing I hadn’t.

I clearly need to work on the holiness bit.

✞ ✞ ✞ ✞ ✞

Lord Jesus Christ, as we watch You process towards Your salvific death on a cross, help us engage all our senses as we bear our own crosses through life. Help us recognize the signs of holiness in action around us, and smell the fragrance of Your goodness in others. Amen.

Palm Sunday
Matthew 21:1-11 | Isaiah 50:4-7 | Psalm 21(22):8-9,17-20,23-24 | Philippians 2:6-11 | Matthew 26:14-27:66

And so it begins.

As the massive crowd cries “Hosanna!” and enters with Jesus into Jerusalem, a lone figure in the distance follows breathlessly behind.

That would be me, running late from an emergency consult that also meant I missed writing yesterday’s blog entry. That emergency occurred because maintenance problems that were foreseen and forewarned actually came to pass, causing a customer’s mission-critical services to grind to a messy halt.

You might say that a default (choosing to do nothing about known issues) became a default (failure to fulfill an obligation to keep things running smoothly).

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You can bet that Jesus foresaw all that would happen to Him during those few days in Jerusalem that we commemorate each year, because He forewarned His disciples about the events to come.

Yet He chose to embrace all the cruelty and suffering that He saw ahead of Him, instead of avoiding them for business or personal reasons.

He chose to complete His mission, instead of hustling off to do something new and exciting and not-painful.

He chose not to default, so that we can look forward to eternal life today.

✞ ✞ ✞ ✞ ✞

But we too have been forewarned about the choices we make in our daily lives, and how they affect our progress towards the eternal life that Jesus promised through His actions.

We can choose anew each day to embrace His Holy Way, to do the right thing even when it’s the hard thing.

Or we can default to cavorting along the wide boulevards of secular ease, casting others aside in our hedonistic rush to personal glory.

Shall we choose life together?

Hosanna to the Son of David!
Blessed is he who comes in the name of the Lord,
the King of Israel.
Hosanna in the highest!

Amen.

Friday of the 5th Week of Lent
Jeremiah 20:10-13 | Psalm 17(18):2-7 | John 10:31-42

I hear so many disparaging me,
‘“Terror from every side!”
Denounce him! Let us denounce him!’
All those who used to be my friends
watched for my downfall,
‘Perhaps he will be seduced into error.
Then we will master him
and take our revenge!’ (Jeremiah 20:10)

Fair-weather friends are a dime a dozen; when circumstances turn against you, they will be nowhere to be found, or perhaps even take advantage of your plight to raise their own status or reputation.

This is especially so in a work environment where the boss plays subordinates against each other, so that everyone fakes teamwork while quietly aiming to get a leg up by stepping on others’ backs…and possibly stabbing them in the process.

The Lord is not this sort of “boss”. He wants us all to work as one united people in bringing His kingdom to earth, through concerted words and deeds of love for one another.

Which is why I’m quite disturbed by the rising tide of lamentations at the advent of a new “boss” at our parish, a veritable jeremiad of “he’ll change everything, upset all our apple carts, woe is us, time to move to a new parish!” I’m guessing that he’s already feeling the effects of rumours that will undermine whatever good he’ll try to do during his tenure here–perhaps the above passage might even have crossed his mind.

It’s possible that some of his intended changes would directly affect my choir ministry. Whether I can help channel those changes for the good of our ministry remains to be seen, but until the nature of those changes are made known, I’ll wait patiently…and try very hard not to prejudge.

In the meantime, Holy Week beckons. Time to set aside any gripes about our inbound parish priest, and focus on Christ as He begins His journey of Passion.

Amen.