Friday after Ash Wednesday
Isaiah 58:1-9 | Psalm 50(51):3-6,18-19 | Matthew 9:14-15
‘Why should we fast if you never see it,
why do penance if you never notice?’
Look, you do business on your fast-days,
you oppress all your workmen;
look, you quarrel and squabble when you fast
and strike the poor man with your fist.
Fasting like yours today
will never make your voice heard on high. (Isaiah 58:3-4)
Over the last two years, I’ve fasted through the whole season of Lent, skipping lunch every day and moderating breakfast and dinner.
It was always a rough journey; I found myself occasionally sneaking in a tea-time pineapple tart (Lent and Chinese New Year are often coincident), and getting rather snippy with others in my hunger.
This year, I’m doing a Ramadan-style fast instead, arising before dawn for a small breakfast, then not consuming anything till sundown, not even water. Paradoxically, though I’m consuming even less than in the previous years, I’ve not felt paralyzing hunger during the day at all, I’m not tempted by sweet treats, and I’m as pleasant to others as I normally am after a typical session of good food.
The only problem: now that I don’t drink during the day, I sport a bad case of “dragon breath” when meeting with my clients. I just have to make sure I sit a little farther from them…and pack a travel toothbrush for regular mouth-cleaning.
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Isaiah reminds us that fasting becomes a perversion if it only makes us worse human beings that we were before we began. If fasting turns us into ogres, better not to fast at all.
Or perhaps we could take a look at why fasting turns us onto ogres. For me, I finally realized that the water I was drinking during my previous fasts actually “reactivated” my stomach, causing it to begin churning and demanding sustenance.
And I was drinking a lot of water during those days, in a misguided belief that I needed to “flush out toxins” and assuage my hunger while I was fasting. With this new regimen, no one I deal with daily can tell that I’m fasting…except my business and lunch partner, whom I had to inform for obvious reasons.
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The sacrifices we make during this Lenten season have to count for something. We should not simply go through the motions, especially when they’re turning us into terrible children of God.
We should instead indulge in a healthy dose of introspection, carefully scrutinising ourselves inside and out. “Am I becoming a better child of God, for all that I’m doing this Lent?” should be our daily examen.
Lord, as we sacrifice ourselves to the greater good this Lent, give us a watchful eye on our words and deeds, an honest disposition to acknowledge when our faithful actions turn bad, and the fortitude to bear our cross and follow You always. Amen.
