Monday of Week 32 in Ordinary Time (Year I)
Wisdom 1:1-7 | Psalm 138(139):1-10 | Luke 17:1-6
Jesus said to his disciples: ‘Obstacles are sure to come, but alas for the one who provides them! It would be better for him to be thrown into the Sea with a millstone put round his neck than that he should lead astray a single one of these little ones. Watch yourselves! (Luke 17:1-3)
Yesterday, at the end of my Sacrament of Reconciliation, I ended my Act of Contrition with the words “I will try my very best not to sin again”.
I’ve been using this formulation for many months now, as an explicit admission that I am weak, but I will struggle on, fighting my own tendency to sin.
Perhaps some of you, dear readers, have already noticed a little flaw in that logic, but I’d never received any reaction from the priest on the other side of the confessional, and I’d never thought to question my intent.
Until yesterday, when my confessor shot back with: “No, don’t try. Will it, and let God do the rest.”
Oh.
After a moment of reflection, I understood what he was getting at. I’d inadvertently taken on the burden of fighting sin all by myself, in effect telling God like a stereotypical singlet-wearing coffeeshop assistant, “Don’t worry, boss, I’ve figured out what I did wrong. I’ll get it right next time, you’ll see.”
And Him quietly saying, “You lovable idiot. I’m here to help!”
To think that I’ve been providing my own obstacles, setting them up in my path, then plowing right into them.
All because I decided without thinking to fight sin on my own.
Watch myself, indeed.
✞ ✞ ✞ ✞ ✞
It’s easy, as we beat our breasts to the rhythm of “through my fault, through my fault, through my most grievous fault”, to overemphasize the me in all our faults.
Acid-tongued Catholic? “I can’t help it, it’s my nature, I can’t change.”
Pornography addiction? “I can’t help it, my thoughts just go straight to naked women, I can’t change.”
White-collar embezzler? “I can’t help it, my needs are many, I can’t change.”
When we tell our Creator, “It’s not you, Lord, it’s me.”, do we even bother to listen for His reply?
Then stop being a hero. Say the word, let Me in.
I’ll clear the path of righteousness for you.
Lord Jesus, I will not sin again. I will it, Lord, that I should do Your will, but I am weak, as You are stronger than the mightiest oak.
Lord Jesus, I abandon myself to you. Jesus, you take over.
Amen.