Stumbling at the Finish Line

Wednesday of week 19 in Ordinary Time (Year I)
Deuteronomy 34:1-12 | Psalm 65(66):1-3,5,16-17 | Matthew 18:15-20


The Lord said to him, ‘This is the land I swore to give to Abraham, Isaac and Jacob, saying: I will give it to your descendants. I have let you see it with your own eyes, but you shall not cross into it.’ (Deuteronomy 34:4)

Of late, I’ve been dreaming of failure.

I dream of building a successful business, only to be ousted by the company board.

I dream of running towards a young boy standing in the middle of the road, only to watch helplessly as he tumbles over a speeding car into a crumpled motionless heap.

I dream of standing in the middle of Raffles Place, proclaiming the end times to a never-ending flock of financial types blithely flitting past, minds lost in plotting their next market killing.

I wonder where all this failure is coming from.

Ow.

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Moses failed in his success.

He led the Israelites to the Promised Land, but he did not trust in God enough to ask the rock at Meribah to yield its life-giving waters. Instead, he struck it twice, and in his disobedience, he was barred from entering himself. (Numbers 20:1-13)

Yet Moses, to this day, is still considered one of the greatest and most widely-acknowledged of all the prophets.

He also succeeded each time he trusted in the Lord. The Book of Exodus is filled with accounts of the miracles he was involved with.

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I think my dreams weren’t actually about failure.

I may have lost my business, but it survived.

I may not have been able to save that child, but I didn’t hesitate to try.

I may not have been able to convert hearts, but I didn’t fear to take the stand for the Lord.

Instead, they were a reminder that my own abilities are limited, but there is something greater in this world, emanating from someone who beckons to me and points the way every day, the right race to run.

That something…is faith.

Not the fickleness of human desires.

Not the ever-changing measures of secular success.

Just the quiet voice that reminds us in the silence:

Trust in the Lord, and do what He commands.
Unto Him give the first fruits of your heart.
When all has crumbled into dust, He will remain.
He will raise you up in the palm of His hand.

Amen.

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