Saint James, Apostle
2 Corinthians 4:7-15 | Psalm 125(126):1-6 | Matthew 20:20-28
Indeed, while we are still alive, we are consigned to our death every day, for the sake of Jesus, so that in our mortal flesh the life of Jesus, too, may be openly shown. (2 Corinthians 4:11)
Over the last few months, I’ve found myself cooking almost half my daily meals, and all of them were pretty much vegetarian. As you might expect, I lost about 5kg and a couple of inches around the waist, and gained in turn a greater sense of energy along with a certain lightness of being.
I also noticed my body dying.
It’s not that “falling off a cliff” of end-stage cancer, or a terminal disease, or even an obese person climbing a flight of stairs. I just feel in spades what my senses couldn’t tell me before, whilst overloaded and blunted by the detritus of rich living.
Now that I’ve shed so much toxic badness, my senses have cleared to the point that I can actually feel myself getting very slightly slower and achier each day, with just a touch less stamina than the day before. As my cells start dying faster than they can be replaced, I expect to maintain this awareness till my last day on this earth.
It’s a mixed blessing, to be sure, but I’m thankful for the ability to feel it all.
✞ ✞ ✞ ✞ ✞
My spiritual life has evolved in a similar fashion. As I “die” more and more to my secular self, I’ve become more aware of what happens around me every day, particularly affronts to others, and to God through them.
I’m no longer inured to the growing hedonism that even affects some Catholics I know, and one of my closest friends is now dealing with the imminent breakdown of his “what God has joined, man must not divide” union.
And yet, I see life in the hope that springs from many friends’ daily struggle to live the Gospel life, and in my own journey along a similar path. As a collective Christendom, we die to ourselves each day, so as to shine forth with the joy and peace that knowledge of our Lord and our impending reunion with the Creator. As beacons of hope, we lead other struggling souls in the direction of righteousness and love, towards the One who Is.
At least, that’s the general idea, though even on a personal level, I probably need to polish and relight my beacon. Time to refocus on the Good and the Right.
And keep eating vegetables.
Lord, we fear dying to ourselves, because we place more trust in the mundane present of our sensual experience, than in the heavenly future of Your great promise. Help us to break that fear and dependence. Help us to truly die to our selfish selves, and raise us up to a new life of holiness.
For in You rests all our hopes and dreams, our joy and peace. Amen.