Wednesday of the 9th Week in Ordinary Time (Year II)
2 Timothy 1:1-3,6-12 | Psalm 122:1-2 | Mark 12:18-27
I am reminding you now to fan into a flame the gift that God gave you when I laid my hands on you. God’s gift was not a spirit of timidity, but the Spirit of power, and love, and self-control. (2 Timothy 1:6-7)
When I was in my early teens, I saw myself growing into one of two roles: priest…or firefighter. The now-obvious joke, that these vocations did opposing things to fires, eluded me at the time; I wanted to be one or the other because both save lives, though in different ways.
Then I discovered computers in secondary school, and veered off course into a vast digital wasteland. I also discovered that my plans for the future had to be shelved; my lack of fitness and eventual discovery of a blood ailment put paid to my firefighting ambition, and my extreme timidity and lack of self-control in social situations made the idea of becoming a priest quite laughable.
Fast-forward 30-odd years, and I’ve returned to the church, in a manner of speaking (I may write about my journey in spiritual wilderness some day). I’ve gained some confidence and valuable experience, some spiritual power and a heaping basket of love, but self-control is still somewhat lacking.
See, I find myself occasionally committing to liturgical and pastoral activities without much forethought. With God’s grace, I managed to survive some of those deep-dives by myself, but in other cases, I could not get the necessary support from others in time. While most such cases ended happily (God’s labour is nothing if not sweet), I generally found myself bereft in the end of inner calm, adequate sleep and, in a couple of cases, a considerable sum of money.
Which brings me to the matter of this blog…
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When I first committed myself to examining daily scripture and publicly reflecting on it, a tiny part of me thought I was on a fool’s errand at best. Thankfully, the Spirit has kept me going till this day, though I must confess that the readings on some days can be rather tricky to reflect on. Also, the hope that my words might some day stir some hearts aflame with a desire to know God better, and to treat their neighbours with more love and respect, is another impetus.
What I could use more of…is feedback.
I sometimes wonder if I’ve become Don Quixote de la Singapura, tilting at spiritual windmills while everyone around quietly laughs into their sleeves at this fool who exposes his feeble faith and flaws in a misguided attempt at inspiration and evangelisation.
So:
- Is my writing influencing you in some way, for better or worse?
- Is there something you’d like to see changed? Perhaps my writing style (“wah, so cheong hei man!”), or subject matter, or even frequency?
- Have you tuned me out altogether? ?
Silence probably won’t stop my daily posting, but constructive suggestions and observations would be pounced upon with glee. Thanks much in advance, brothers and sisters.
Lord, you have surrounded me with people whom I love, for I see You in their faces each day. Help me to show the depth of my love for them in the privacy of my thoughts, the transmission of my words, and especially the impact of my deeds. Amen.